Alone
by TK 96
Summary: HITSUKARIN.!PLZ REVIEW!... she breaks, she falls into his arms and lets him have what he wants of her again, will broken, clothes scatered, back pressed into the snow... back to what we know... back to what we know...
1. Alone

**AN: i do not own bleach or this song. i was bored and had to get this out of my head :) enjoy and thx for reading**

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><p><em>Tonight looks like a cold one. If the moon decides to show, And dance along the ocean<em>

_None of us will know... None of us will know..._

**she walks along the rivers edge, a long deep look of longing in her eyes.**

_So this is the end of it_

**she knows that tonite he will be gone**

_It's time for us to go_

**he will leave without a goodbye as he always does.**

_Back to where we started_

**and with his return he will ask of forgiveness**

_Back to what we know... Back to what we know..._

**she grows tired of this hurt, this false hope of forever**

**but next time she will be strong, she will tell him 'No more'**

_Do you know what it feels like..._

**something she has never said to him before**

**he had always came and gone and taken what he wanted of her.**

**all of her**

_To be alone?_

**she had always let him take her, but not anymore**

**she will be alone in the end, but she will be strong she will not lose herself.**

_Well i do i do_

**she will remain strong**

_Do you know what it feels like_

**even when it feels she will break**

_To be alone?_

**as the years pass the seasons change**

_Well i do i do..._

**and the first snow falls once again**

_Tonight looks like a cold one_

**on a night with a moonless sky**

_If the moon decides to show_

**she walks along the rivers edge, where she had first told him 'No'**

_And dance along the ocean_

**a whisper in the night, eyes as cold as ice appear before her**

_None of us will know... None of us will know._

**long stares, awkward silence then he utters three words 8 simple letters.**

**that brings forth the false hope and will finially end this hurt **

_So this is the end of it_

**"I Love You"**

_It's time for us to go_

**although the words are empty, and there is no emotion in them **

**she breaks, she falls into his arms and lets him have what he wants of her again,**

_Back to where we started_

**will broken, clothes scatered, back pressed into the snow**

_Back to what we know... Back to what we know..._

**and in the morning again, he will be gone again**

_Tomorrow's never promised you_

**her tears will fall**

_This road is all we share_

**she was weak and even through after everything that sense of what is false hope**

**still resides insde of her**

_I'd die a thousand times for you_

**she'd give it all away for him**

_And wonder if you care... And wonder if you care at all..._

**but would he even care?**

_Do you know what it feels like_

**time moves forward even when it seems impossible,**

**she waits for his return**

**she sits by the rivers edge a cool breeze comes upon her and looks into the deep blue**

_To be alone?_

**she wishes that the wind would be like the rivers swift current **

**and would just take her away somewhere new**

_Well i do i do!_

**she slips her feet in the deep blue then her thin legs toned from years of soccor**

_Do you know what it feels like_

**she wades out into the water until its to her chest**

_To be alone?_

**she lays back and floats on her back gasping at the icy blue**

_Well i do i do...!_

**she closes her eyes and memories flood back**

**she feels cold ice hit her cheek then melt away**

_I do!_

**she feels the current pulling her **

_I do!_

**she lets her head go under**

_I do!_

**she breathes deep**

_Tonight looks like a cold one_

**she slowly fades away in the river where she first said no,**

_If the moon decides to show_

**under a moonless sky**

_And dance along the ocean_

**during the first snow**

_None of us will know..._

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><p><strong><em>AN this song is by eyeshine it is johnny yong bosh's band. for anyone who doesnt know johnny is ichigos V A. it is a very good band so check em out :)_**


	2. Chapter 2

**she stands at the rivers edge**

_Sound the bugle now_

**she looks down at her own body**

_play it just for me_

**she holds no regrets of what she has done as she walks from the rivers edge**

_As the seasons change remember how I used to be_

**she walks to her house and climbs the stairs **

**she counts them one by one knowing this will be the last time she will climb them**

_Now I can't go on I can't even start_

**she takes in all the photos on the walls, memories she will soon lose**

_I've got nothing left just an empty heart_

**she walks to her brothers room, he looks up and his eyes widen at the sight of her chain pretruding from her chest  
><strong>_  
>I'm a soldier wounded so I must give up the fight<em>

**he knew she was going through pain, he could seee it in her eyes**

**that deep sence of longing...**

****_There's nothing more for me, lead me away..._

**"please i need to go away, somewhere new, better" she whispers**

_Or leave me lying here_

**he whispers softly ''f-...fine"**__

_Sound the bugle now tell them I don't care_

**he puts his swords hilt on her forhead and whispers a simple last goodbye**

****_There's not a road I know that leads to anywhere_

**she smiles and thanks him**

****_Without a light feat that I will stumble in the dark_

**she is pulled into darkness and feels herself drifting**

_Lay right down - decide not to go on_

__**she faintly hears her brother softly crying. "dont cry" she tries to say**

_Then from on hight somewhere in the distance_

**she hears him whisper "just please remember"**

_There's a voice that calls remember who your are_

**"who you are"**

****_If you lose yourself your courage soon will follow_

__**light surrounds her she still hears the voice but can no longer place it **

_So be strong tonight remember who you are_

**she awakens in a small house with an old woman shaking her awake**

****_Ya you're a soldier now fighting in a battle_

**"your going to be late you need to leave for the acadamy soon"**

****_To be free once more Ya that's worth fighting for_

**she smiles up at the old woman "yes, granny"**_  
><em> 


	3. I miss you

****OK im not proud of this one, its from shoro's point of view. but karin will be back next. its a lot more story than my other chapters but i hope you still enjoy :) thanks for reading. your comments are greatly appreciated :D****

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><p><strong>he walks into the crowded church and finds an empty pew in the back<strong>

_A cigarette fills an empty room_

**a minister begins a speech on how this death is just a new begenning**

_Smell of heartbreaks and cheap perfume_

**"this man doesnt even know the half of it" he thinks to himself**

**soon a viewing begina and everyone gets a good look at the stitched, stuffed, and drained corpse.**

_Photos scattered across my wall_

**photos in cheap frames cover the coffin. one in particular catches his eye. a smiling wide eyed girl on the shoulders of a grinning white haired boy. cherry blossoms float behind them and a soccor ball rests at their feet.**

_Maybe someday I'll take em away, but I miss you_

**he sighs and runs a hand through his own white hair. "hitsugaya" he turns to see a red haired man walking twords him in a black suit.**

_Yeah, I still miss you_

**"im very sorry for your loss ichigo" the red haired man glares at the other**

**"dont you fucking give me that load!" he grabs the boys coller and looks into his teal eyes  
>he sighs and lets go of his coller and looks at his sister's body. "im not mad at you toshiro"<strong>

**"but how?"**

**"ha, i try not to hold a grudge, although you may hate yourself now, she was old enough to understand what she was doing."**

**toshiro cleared his throut "your family, i hope they are doing well"**

**he sighed "yuzus in peices my father tries to hide his pain, something he told me never to do. i thought it was bad when mom died, but it seems karin was the stiches that held the very scraps of this family together" **

**a silent tear slipped down toshiros face**

_Yeah!_

**he steps into her room through her window, only to see nothing has changed. he lays in her bed he remembers their first time. her cheeks flushed pink with emcarrassment. the way her catious hands carressed his body. her simplest touch drove him wild**

**"where did that go?" he asks himself**

_In the middle of the night_

**he woke from these memories and grabbed at the blankets beside him only to bring back a handful of air.**

_When I feel you by my side,_

**he gets up to leave but gets lost in another memory**

_Well it's nothing but a memory._

_**"karin oi! come on" he called and continued on with out her**_

_**"shiro wait! my ball" she ran in the opposite direction **_

_**he went in her direction until he came to the railing overlooking the sunset where they first met "karin? where are you"**_

_**arms wrap around him and he feels her lips at his neck**_

_**"karin? what are you doing" he looks back at her**_

_**"hehe i lost my ball"**_

_**he looked at the soccor ball on the ground. he slid his foot under it and kicked it up to himself "this ball" he cocked an eyebrow**_

_**"toshi! you found it. you get a special treat just for that"**_

_**she tackles him and they lay in the grass watching the sunset, later they walked to the river and he got his 'special treat'**_

_What if we never said goodbye,_

**"why didnt i say goodbye" he thinks**

_If I never made you cry_

**he left and walked to the river and saw the police tape still up**

_Baby this is killing me,_

**"when did we go so wrong?"**

_All those words I never said,_

**he should have stayed, he should have meant those 3 words he spoke to her during their last encounterby the river**

_On my lips taste like regret._

**he 'should have' i guess thats all we can say now**

_After all that we've been through_

**he walks to his desired location and a glowing light slowly turns into a gate. his hell butterfly lands on his shoulder. it is rather small and made of ice.**

_Well I miss you_

**just a whisper in the night and he is gone.**

_Yeah, I still miss you_

**he takes one last look at the river another silent ear falls and he is gone.**_  
><em>


	4. Here i am

_ok here we go chapter 4 :D hope you enjoy this chappy, thank you all so much for reading! and Merry Christmas!_

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><p><em>Here I am this is me <em>

**she walks from the academy, 3 years has passed.**_  
>There's no where else on Earth I'd rather be <em>

**he walks to his desk three years since the funeral, almost to the day**_  
>Here I am it's just me and you <em>

**she looks up at the gate to the goti 13**_  
>And tonight we make our dreams come true <em>

**he looks over paperwork, that needs to be signed**_  
>It's alive with the beating of young hearts <em>

**she walks to her newly assigned squad**_  
>It's a new day it 's a new plan <em>

**he prepares for new squad members**_  
>I've been waiting for you <em>

**while she enters her new squad barraks**_  
>Here I am <em>

**a knock upon his door "enter"**

Here we are we've just begun

**she enters the office, she is met with icey blue eyes**_  
>And after all this time our time has come <em>

**he is met with deep gray.**_  
>Ya here we are still goin' strong <em>

**she bows "captain Hitsugaya, its my pleasure to serve on your squad"**_  
>Right here in the place where we belong<br>_**he swallows hard and tries hard to remain calm "w-we are pleased to have you. Karin is it?"  
><strong>_Here I am next to you _

**she smiles. his heart breaks. "Karin kurisaki, but you can call me karin if you are comfortable with that, sir"**_  
>And suddenly the world is all brand new <em>

**"of course, now we are mainly a paper work division, but we do see our fair share of fighting if the time ever comes to it."**_  
>Here I am where I'm gonna stay <em>

**she is led to her barraks, "thank you Captain, i appreciate you showing me around" she smiled up to him. "yes well, anytime" with that he left**_  
>Now there's nothin standin in our way <em>

**she looked up at her new ceiling, and smiled, "this feels so...hmm..."she sat up and looked at the considerably larger barrak across from hers. she watched as her new captain walked inside.**_  
>Here I am this is me<br>_**"right, this feels right"**


	5. 3 years 6 months ago i will not forget

**Yay another update :) thank you for reading and for your comments. this song is called one year 6 months by yellowcard, if you go to youtube and listen to it while you read its always better. thanks again sorry if theres any mistakes**

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><p><em>Sew this up with threads of reason and regret<br>So I will not forget. I will not forget  
>How this felt 3 years six months ago know I cannot forget. I cannot forget.<em>

**he looks into her eyes as she grabs her sword**_  
>I'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do<em>

**theres a determination in her eyes, its a look she used to wear playing soccor**_  
>Follow me there<em>

**his sword collides with hers, a sharp ting sounds out in the training grounds**_  
>A beautiful somewhere<em>

**her eyes follow his every move, they train hard. drenched in sweat**_  
>A place that I can share with you<em>

**she laughs "captain hitsugaya you went easy on me agian"**_  
>I can tell that you don't know me anymore<em>

**"i never did" he murmers thinking back... "what was that captain?"**_  
>It's easy to forget, sometimes we just forget<em>

_"_**nothing, lets head back. we have paperwork" he turned to leave the training grounds  
><strong>_And being on this road is anything but sure_

**she stands looking over the training grounds "are you coming Karin? karin..." she walked to a small stream near the training grounds. he followed.**_  
>Maybe we'll forget, I hope we don't forget<em>

**"you say my name, you talk to me as if im an old friend captain. May i ask you why?" she sat under a cherry blossom tree and oicked a few flowers  
><strong>_I'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do_

**he looked at the ground, adjusted his coller "sometimes its as though you are, if that makes any sence"**_  
>Follow me there<em>

**"i feel... i feel like i knew these people before i died. you and matsumoto in particular"she picked the petals from her flowers one by one slowly**_  
>A beautiful somewhere<em>

**he swollowed hard "a soul reaper once dead retains no knowlege from their former life, you know that as well as any other soul reaper"  
><strong>_A place that I can share with you_

**they stayed silent. he watched as she dropped her petals one by one slowly into the water. each one passing him by floating down the stream, his memories of them together passed by with each petal**_  
>So many nights, legs tangled tight<em>

**he sat down beside her. "captain, you act so cold and stern when you are around the other captains, i wish you would show your softer side more often" the last petal falls, memories still play through his mind. all the times he would laugh and be a teenager only she seemed to bring that out of him.**_  
>Wrap me up in a dream with you<em>

**"to the others i am still a child in their eyes. i must keep a strong composure. or they will think me of being unfit for my position" his voice took on a sadder tone**_  
>Close up these eyes, try not to cry<em>

**she laughed "have you seen half the captains? im suprised the 13 court gaurd squads are still standing. but it wouldnt hurt to just smile once in a while captain"**_  
>All that I've got to pull me through is memories of you<em>

**she let her long hair down and ran a hand through it. she licked her lips**_  
>Memories of you<em>

**he thought about her lips, how soft they were**_  
>Memories of you<em>

**how they always opened for him, he was always welcome...**_  
>Memories of you<em>

**he put his hand on her cheek and turned her head to face him.  
><strong>_I'm falling into memories of you and __things we used to do_

**he slowly moved in "captain! what are you doi-"**_  
>Follow me there<em>

**"shh shh just let me.." he pressed his forehead to hers and let his eyes  
><strong>_A beautiful somewhere_

**she breathed in his scent, it was a mix of sweat and mint leaf from his daily tea**_  
>A place that we can share<em>

**he pressed his lips to hers, her opening for him almost immediatly. the kiss deepened... **_  
>Falling into memories of you and things <em>_we used to do_

**her hands in his hair, his hands at her waist they explored each others bodies...**

**when they finially broke apart she smiled at her captain who was now on top of her she whisperd "yeagh it just feels..."**

**"right" **


	6. an incredible machine

_ans another up date :) this is inreddible machine by sugarland thank you for reading :)_

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><p><em>Feels like I'm flying<em>

**she stood by him, respected him, followed ever order**  
><em>Wings made of light<em>

**by day she was the perfect third seat. and by night she was his personal play toy, and he, hers  
><strong>_Brand new and shining_

**lips met, clothes strewn, skin met skin in a rythum only they could follow**_  
>Like a shot rung out through the night<em>

**she would fall asleep in his arms and awake in them**

A heart that beats, an Incredible Machine

**she was truely happy**_  
>Made of blood and love and hope and lust and steam<em>

**she snuck to his barraks "oh captain?"**

_Calling, _

**she walked inside "captain?" **

_calling, _

**arms wrapped around her, lips met her neck she let out a soft sigh**

_calling  
><em>**he picked her up and carried her to his bed. "you kept me waiting"**_  
>Feels like i'm floating<em>

**"captain, i have never seen you act like this before, so needy" his lust showed deep in his eyes**_  
>Weightless in flight<em>

**soon clothes were on the floor, sweat mingled, sheets wrinkled**_  
>Planets exploding as the soul and gravity fight<br>_**as they come down from their high he grabs her face and looks deep into her eyes**_  
>A heart that beats, an Incredible Machine<em>

**"i love you"**_  
>Made of blood and love and hope and lust and steam<em>

**and in those three words spoken she is gone, she looks at his face**_  
>Calling,<em>

**she cant seem to shake an eery feeling that comes over her**

_calling, _

**"i-i love you too, Toshiro"**

_calling_

**he sees some mixed emotion twisted in her face "something wrong"**

Lifted higher mercury skies above

**she smiled "nothing could possibly be wrong ere toshi"**_  
>Calling, water fire burning a sign of love<br>_**he sat up "Karin something has been troubleing me, its been eating away at me"**_  
>A heart that beats, an Incredible Machine<em>

**she sits up and pulls the sheet up to cover her chest "whats wrong?"**_  
>Made of blood and love and hope and lust and steam<em>

**"theres something i need to tell you, about when you were alive"  
><strong>_Calling, _

**he chose his words carefully and took her hand, she looked scared**

_calling,_

**"when you were alive, we were very close, we-" **

_calling, _

_**"ATTEAN ALL SQUAD 10 MEMBERS YOUR NEEDED FOR A HOLLOW UPRISING IN KARAKURA TOWN, REPORT TO SOJIKU HILL IMMEDIATLY!"**_

_Calling...  
><em>


	7. Quiet Quiet

_**Another update yay! just wanted to thank my reviewers: FrostyNight98, Iceprincess1218, MAAL-MembersAwesomeAnimeLovers, and last but not least bara-san THANKS GUYS your reviews mean a lot to me :) this is another short one, ENJOY!**_

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><p><em><strong>he holds his breath<strong>_

_What would it take, _

_**hollows fall all around**__  
>For things to be quiet, <em>

_**all seems still  
><strong>__Quiet like the snow? _

_**all seems quiet**__  
>And I know, this isn't much<em>

_**a crash sounds  
><strong>__But I know, I could,_

_**by the rivers edge stands a hollow, holding a small figure**__  
>I could be better.<em>

_**not a second passes before he is at her rescue  
><strong>__I don't think I deserve it, selflessness._

_**"toshi" her hand, slick with blood, cups his face**__  
>Find your way into my heart<em>

_**as she slips away from him a second time, tears spill from his eyes**__  
>All stars could be brighter<em>

_**he carries her to the soul gate, its light glowing brighter with every step**__  
>All hearts could be warmer<em>

_**her heart beats slower, grows colder...**__  
>What would it take...<em>

**he jumps up from his deep sleep and gropes the sheets next to him only to pull back an empty fist**_  
>For things to be quiet<em>

**he sits up, "its too damn quiet."**_  
>Quiet like the snow?<em>

**he walks to squad 4 barraks**

_Are we meant to be empty handed?_

**as he walks into her room he knows he will only see a blank, but peaceful, unconcious face**_  
>I know, I could,<em>

**he takes her limp hand**_  
>I could be better.<em>

**he whispers the words he says upon every visit**_  
>I don't think I deserve it, selflessness.<em>

**"im sorry... Karin"  
><strong>_Find your way into my heart_

**he stares at her watching her chest slowly rise and fall**_  
>All stars could be brighter,<em>

**he kisses her hand**_  
>All hearts could be warmer.<em>

**his tears fall...**_  
>What would it take for things to be quiet? <em>

**and as her eyes finially open,**

_Quiet,…Into my arms_

**what was once a peaceful expression**

_What would it take for things to be quiet?_

**is replaced by a look of pure rage.**

_quiet..._

_ quiet..._**  
><strong>


	8. Remember

_:) another update. thanks for reading. this is a longer one finially. im not too proud of it, so i would like reviews both good and bad thanks. im thinking ichigo deserves a chappy next, he's been a good sport, you know with me killing his sister and all :D anyhoo_

_ENJOY!_

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><p><em>Sensation washes over me<em>

**she stood by the river. this feeling of dread a knot tied tight stayed strong in her stomach**_  
>I can't describe it<em>

**its a dark, distant feeling. a cold fills her lungs. she cant breath**_  
>Pain I felt so long ago<em>

**images of a black and white ball, and green eyes flash in her mind**_  
>I don't remember<em>

**she falls to her knees, trying to breathe**_  
>Tear a hole so I can see<em>

**she sees images of cherry blossoms, tear filled eyes, and hurtful glares**_  
>My devastation<em>

**she coughs uncontrollably, an acheing pain builds in her throut, she tastes blood**_  
>Feelings from so long ago<em>

**hurt, love, lust, anger, all flash through her at once  
><strong>_I don't remember_

**she trembles, her lungs heavy with the feeling of icey water. **

Holding on, to let them know

**she gags, blood spews from her mouth.**_  
>What's given to me, given to me<em>

**images of, tangled bodies, lust filled eyes, **_  
>To hide behind<em>

**a kiss in the night**_  
>The mask this time<em>

**false words of love and hope, giving in, still play through her head in flashes**_  
>And try to believe<br>_**"STOP!" she tries to yell. she scratches at her temples until blood runs, blood still drips from her twisted lips.**_  
>Blind your eyes to what you see<em>

**her lungs grow heavier, her body begging for her to give in**_  
>You can't embrace it<em>

**she sees a shadow coming at her, staggering but with growing speed**_  
>Leave it well enough alone<em>

**a hand wraps around her and squeezes tight**_  
>And don't remember<em>

**she felt ribs break, and puncture her lung **_  
>Cut your pride and watch it bleed<em>

**a scream of rage echoed throughout the park**_  
>You can't deny it<em>

**lungs filling with blood, bones broken**_,_

_Pain you know you can't ignore_

**green eyes flash in her mind again, only for her to relize she was actually looking into them**_  
>If I can remember<em>_  
><em>**his lips move with words unheard **_  
>Holding on, to let them know<em>

**her hand reaches up to touch his face**_  
>What's given to me, given to me<em>

**her blood smears his skin  
><strong>_To hide behind_

**she no longer tries to inhale**_  
>The mask this time<em>

**she no longer tries to fight it**_  
>And try to believe<br>_**the images flash longer, brighter, stronger**_  
>If I can<em>

**she sees late nights by the river**_  
>Remember<em>

**long days of soccor**_  
>To know this will<em>

**she remembers a moonless sky**_  
>Conquer me<em>

**a deep cold**_  
>If I can<em>

**the first snow**_  
>Just walk alone<em>

**the river... saying No..  
><strong>_And try to escape_

**the weight in her lungs as she slipped away... a red headed man... crying over her...**_  
>Into me<br>_**her lungs suddenly feel free of their weight  
><strong>_Sensation washes over me_

**she breaths deep**_  
>I can't describe it<em>

**she feels herself fading**_  
>Pain I felt so long ago<em>

**but is pulled back by a familiar voice**_  
>I remember<br>_**"KARIN"  
><strong>_I'm just holding on, to let them know_

**her eyes open to see toshiro still smeared with blood a desperate look in his eyes**_  
>I can<em>

**she gets one last look at him before everything goes black**_  
>Remember<em>

**she hears a distant voice calling out to her**

_I know this will_

_**"karin im sorry"  
><strong>__Conquer me_

_**"karin im... sorry"**_

I cant

**she tries to find the voice, through the darkness that was her own subconcious**

try to escape

**she opens her eyes**_  
>Into me<em>

**tears decorate his face**_  
>into you<em>

**she watches his eyes as they meet hers, her face twists with rage**

_into us_

**she slowly pulls her hand from his. she takes a deep breath. as she lets it out he exits the room.**

_us..._

**and all is quiet once more**


	9. not really good

**here we are a ichigo chapter with a certain twist, thank you to all of my reviewers. honesly i knew where this story was going until i started this chapter now its gone in a different direction, its all good though cuz with it going this way i have more chapter ideas :) ENJOY!**

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><p><strong>he stands at her grave, a rose in hand<strong>

_I'm not really good at all this stuff_

**"um hey Karin" he puts down the rose and kneels  
><strong>_About telling everyone that I've got it all figured out _

**"lifes been well hard with out you," he puts his hand on the gravestone "bet you diddnt know you held this broken family together?" he smiles, tears fill his eyes  
><strong>_Responsibility is not my bag of tea _

**"usually im pretty good with the whole protecting and loving thing, but i guess when it came to you..."  
><strong>_Give me some of that and I'll just turn and run away _

**"i saw the way he made you feel but i diddnt feel like it was my place to speak up about it. you were old enough to know what you were doing"**_  
>but it's just like the way you are <em>

**"i knew if i tried to interviene you would just shake it off and insult me or something. thats just the kind of person you are. god what i would do to hear a lame strawberry joke again" a sad smile played on his lips and a tear fell.**_  
>to lift me up when I've gone too far away <em>

**he wipes it away his eyes close "look at me, almost 4 years later and in still in peices"**_  
>patch my fears and all of my scars <em>

_"_**i know your somewhere out there, but i think it hurts worse knowing that you will never remember dad, mom, yuzu, or me "**_  
>it's just you and me<br>_**"Karin... im sorry"**_  
>help me to see, to feel, your love is real<br>__**"im getting real tired of hearing that you know"**__  
>you're the one that always calls my bluff <em>

**his eyes open wide he turns looking for the voice "Karin"**_  
>and your information seems to keep me from wearing out <em>

**"now look at me huh, imagining your voice, i **_**must**_** be going crazy"**_  
>if I'm in the dark I know you're there with me <em>

**he stands brushes off his pants and starts to leave the cemetary**_  
>guiding every step I take in your liberty<br>_**he stops at the cemetary gates, he places one hand on the gate and takes one last look behiend him**_  
>but it's just like the way you are <em>

**he sees a black figure sitting on karins gravestone pulling petals from his rose he just laid there**_  
>to lift me up when I've gone too far away <em>

**he walks to the grave, he sees the back of a woman with long black hair, red petals fall at her feet**_  
>patch my fears and all of my scars <em>

**"excuse me but that rose is for Karin Kurasaki and last time i checked shes not here anymore so if you dont mind" his voice was strong with anger**_  
>it's just you and me<br>_**she slowly turned**_  
>help me to see, to feel, your love is real <em>

**"Check again... Ichi-nii"**


	10. just another day

**ok sorry i havent updated lately :/ i have been busy and had some writers block. this chappy is short and not too good.. its sorta a filler :) well ill update again asap. enjoy and Thanks for reading (oh and some song ideas would be grreatly appreciated)**

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><p><strong>he stands in squad 4<strong>

_I'm just a step away_

**his hand on the door knob, the words on his lips**_  
>I'm just a breath away<em>

**he sighs and turns to leave**_  
>Losing my nerve today<em>

**he walks into his office and begins his daily paperwork**_  
>Falling off the edge today<br>_**he looses focus and gazes out the window**_  
>Someone save me from the hate<em>

**"captain if i may speak so freely, you need to go talk to her"**

_To live another day_

**"matsumoto right now she needs to heal. she doesnt need anymore stress"**_  
>Speaking my mind today<em>

**"heal physically?" her voice took on a mocking tone" thats what you mean right? you really know nothing about wemon do you captain." her tone soffened "anyone can heal physically, but emotionally? now thats another story"  
><strong>

_My voice will be heard today  
><em>**"your relationship with karin is like a zanpacto" she pulled out her hainako, and slid her hand down the blade "smooth powerful and strong, but some swords chip, now some see the sword as being useless and damaged, when chipped. but some see it as an oppertunity. they see the chip as a weakness to overcome, its a way to become stronger for them"**

I've gotta make a stand

**she slid her sword back into its holster and exited the room**

But I am just a person

**"just something to think about captain"**_  
>I'm not superhuman<em>

**he stands and makes his way to squad 4**_  
>It's just another war<em>

_**he steps into her room only to see a folder blanket on an empty bed**__  
>Just another love torn<em>

**"captain unahona! where is my third seat?"**_  
>Falling from my faith today<em>

**"oh captain hitugaya.. she left almost an hour ago"**_  
>Just a step from the edge<em>

**"but where?"**_  
>Just another day in the world we live<em>

**"the world of the living. shes taking the rest of her recovery time there"**_  
>It's just another war<em>

**"i see"**


	11. stand in the rain, stand your ground

alrighty another chappy :) thank you all for reading and reviewing (and some good song suggestions)  
>i hope you enjoy! this song is stand in the rain by Superchick :) thanks again<p>

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><p><em>She never slows down<em>

**she layes in her hospital bed**

_She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone..._

**she hears footsteps come to her door and leave... again**

_it feels like its all coming down_

**she sighs. lifts her legs from the bed and exits the room. **_  
>She won't turn around<em>

**she heads strait for sojikeo hill, where a gate leading to karakura town awaits her**_  
>The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop <em>

**she walks through the gate and looks up at the gray clouds.**

_raining down_

**a raindrop hits her face, like a flake of the first snow**_  
>So stand in the rain<em>

**she stands there letting the rain soak her hair and clothes**_  
>Stand your ground<em>

**she sighs "this doesnt feel... right"**_  
>Stand up when it's all crashing down<em>

**she shivers, although she had grown accustomed to the cold...**_  
>You stand through the pain<em>

**she falls to her knees, and lets the rain poor down her body.**_  
>You won't drown<em>

**"i have truely lost my self... i need to be stronger"**_  
>And one day, whats lost can be found<em>

**she stands tall, takes a deep breathe**_  
>You stand in the rain<em>

**she slowly lets it out**_  
>She won't make a sound<em>

**"today i become stronger, today im starting down a new path"**_  
>Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down<em>

**theres a voice in the back of her mind screaming his name**_  
>She wants to be found<em>

**she pushes it down, away, and out of her mind**_  
>The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down.<em>

**she looks at the river, she stands by**_  
>So stand in the rain<em>

**she watches as the drops hit the river and ripple away  
><strong>_Stand your ground_

**'im like that river, my troubles hit me like a raindrop...'**_  
>Stand up when it's all crashing down<em>

**'now all i have to do is wait for it all to ripple away and this storm to clear'**_  
>You stand through the pain<em>

**she walks towards his spiritual pressure.**_  
>You won't drown<em>

**rain turns to hail, then to nothing at all**_  
>And one day, whats lost can be found<em>

**she smiles slightly at the clearing clouds**_  
>You stand in the rain<em>

**she follows his pressure soon finds herself at a cemetary**_  
>So stand in the rain<em>

**all to be seen is a red headed man knealing by a grave**_  
>Stand your ground<em>

**a rose in his hand**_  
>Stand up when it's all crashing down<em>

**she walks up to him, hearing his sad words**_  
>Stand through the pain<em>

**"im so sorry Karin"  
><strong>_You won't drown_

**"im getting really tiered of hearing that, you know" she flash stepped from his sight as he turns, she is unsure how to go about this  
><strong>_And one day, whats lost can be found_

**he laughs after seeing no trace of his sister "now im even hearing your voice"**_  
>So stand in the rain<em>

**he turns to leave, **_  
>Stand your ground<em>

**she slowly picks up the rose**_  
>Stand up when it's all crashing down<em>

**"oh ichi-nii... i hate roses"**_  
>You stand through the pain<em>

**she pulls the petals from the rose. one, by, one**_  
>You won't drown<em>

**"Excuse me but that rose is for karin kurisaki! and last time i checked she is no longer here so-"  
><strong>_And one day, whats lost can be found_

**she turns**_  
>You stand in the rain<em>

**"check again... ichi-nii"**


	12. just a little bit longer and ill be fine

**ok another chappy up. thank you to all my readers and reviewers. this went in a comletely different diredtion than i wanted it to :/ but i think it still works thanks and enjoy :) ok and _'text_' - this is thoughts**

* * *

><p><strong>he exits the captains meeting, 'a vacati<strong>

**+n? Yamamato must be feeling generous even if aizen is dead, it still bothers me if there are no aptains in the area... where the hell would i even go'**

**"hitsugaya, where are you going for your vacation? the old man really is generous isnt he two weeks all to our selfs" Ukatake walks beside toshiro as they approach their barraks. "i mean its nice sure, but unexpected, so im thinking whrern can i go tthat wont effect the health too much you know"**_  
>All this time goes by, still no reason why<em>

_**'things have been almost back to normal here since she left for the world of the living, two weeks and it seems all has been forgotten, she will have to back in a week and then what will happen will she take up her third seat position again? '**__  
>A little bit longer and I'll be fine<em>

_**'just one more week' **_**he thinks**

_A little bit longer and I'll be fine  
><em>**"so hitsugaya, any thoughs on where your going? no? well i was thinking the world of the living, i cant be for sure yet, but i could sure use a change of scenery"**

**toshiro was pulled back to reality at Ukatake's last sentence. he stopped dead in his tracks.**_  
>But you don't know what you got until it's gone<em>

**"why wait a week.. when i can..."**_  
>And you don't know what it's like to feel so low<em>

**"what hitsugaya? where are you going" as toshiro ran off Ukatake rubbed his head "well darn i wish he would have stayed longer i have some candy for him" **_  
>You don't even know, know, no...<em>

**toshiro ran to first squad barrak doors. "hello luetanent i would like to put my vacation reguest for the world of the living"**_  
>You don't even know, know, no...<em>

**he walks through the gate, his hell butterfly at his side**_  
>But you don't know what you got until it's gone<em>

**"just wait Karin im coming"**_  
>And you don't know what it's like to feel so low, yeah<em>

**as he walked towards the kurisaki residence he stopped dead in his tracks  
><strong>_  
>You don't even know, <em>

_**'what the hell am i even going to say?'**_

_You don't even know  
><em>**he pushed on towards her home**_  
>So I'll wait 'til kingdom come<em>

**he stood on a branch at her open window**_  
>All the highs and lows are gone<em>

**he hears laughter through closed curtains**_  
>you dont even know, no, no<em>

**he slowly pushes them aside. and what he sees mortifies him**_  
>A little bit longer and I'll be fine<em>

**Karin layes on her bed, her hands tangle in the hair of an unknown man **

_just a little bit longer..._

**their lips meet, he takes a step back, he falls from the branch...**

_And I'll be fine_


	13. You Never Will Escape This Love

another update :) ok this song is The Ocean by noah gunderson, and amazing singer who my friend showed me. you should really check him out on youtube

. his songs are very emotional, so i will be using them in future chapters. plz enjoy :) and thanks for all the reviews :D

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><p><em>Set your eyes love<em>

**he walks, not really knowing where he is going**_  
>Set your eyes oh, west against the morning<em>

**his eyes focused on the rising sun  
><strong>_Cause I have no warning of this_

**"she deserves to be happy, with a real man, not some icey basterd like me"**_  
>When they come to wake me up<br>_**he stands still and lets the cold wind blow over him. "winter in Karakura"**_  
>Set your sights love<em>

**he sighs, his breath a soft cloud**_  
>Set your sights oh, far across the ocean<em>

**he stands by the river looking over its deep blue "this is where... she..."**_  
>Cause if I never touch the ocean<em>

**he sits at the edge and lays back on the frozen grass**_  
>I would only come back home to sleep<br>_**"two weeks..."**_  
>But oh, my sight<em>

**his sight is suddenly blurred by large flakes of snow hitting his face**_  
>Am I alright?<em>

**he lifts his hand and lets the flakes land on his skin and melt away**  
><em>Am I alright<em>

**he lays there a while lost in the peace he has found**_  
>Oh, my sight<em>

**the sky a blinding white, his surroundings covered by the soft powder**_  
>Am I alright?<em>

**he smiles slightly, caught in a memory**_  
>Am I alright?<br>__**"toshi! c'mon i wanna watch the sun rise!"**__  
>Cut your ties love<em>

_**he takes her hand and runs with her to the river**__  
>Cut your ties, and say I never knew you<em>

_**"toshi. im glad you came to see me again, i have missed you, its been 5 years since that soccor game..."**__  
>But they'll see right through you<em>

_**"me too Karin. me too" she shivered and he slipped closer his arms going around her  
><strong>__And you cannot run and hide  
><em>_**he slowly pressed his lips to hers... their first kiss...**__  
>But keep your faith love<em>

**he punches the ground. "damnit"**_  
>Keep the faith, I know it's gonna to bring you life<em>

**he sits up and shakes the snow from his hair**_  
>I know it's gonna bring you down<em>

**he is soaked, his hair and clothes stick to his body**_  
>But though the devil may not take you<em>

**he closes his eyes**_  
>You never will escape this love<br>_**he takes a deep breath  
><strong>_Am I alright?_

**looking back up to the sky**_  
>Am I alright?<em>

**he hears footsteps behiend him, crunhin in the snow**_  
>Oh, my sight<em>

**"the first snow"  
><strong>_Am I alright?_

**he turns to see her standing behiend him  
><strong>_Am I alright?  
><em>**"karin?" saying her name feels like acid on his tounge**_  
>Still this burning in my throat<em>

**his stomach twists into a knot and he suddenly feels sick**_  
>Is going through all of the motions<em>

**"hey toshi"**_  
>And I will someday come to my home<em>

**they stare at each other, she finially breaks the silence  
><strong>_And maybe one day I will reach the ocean_

**"why the hell are you here?"**


	14. Just A Game Babe Just A Game

_yet another update, this again is a song by noah gundersen, and again please check him on youtube :) i dont really know if these lyrics and song really work together hmmm anywhooo please enjoy and thank you for reading :D and please leave a comment, good or bad, i like to hear what you guys think, thx again :)_

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><p><em>You take your chances and I will take mine<em>

**he stands and takes a step closer**_  
>You take forever to make up your mind<em>

**she looked him up and down "your soaked"**_  
>But its all the same, its all the same, its all the same signs<em>

**"yeagh, i have been out here for a while, i guess"**_  
>Its all the same, its all the same, better luck next time<em>

**"karin... I-i"  
><strong>_You are a brick house but you never let it all hang out_

**"save it i dont need your explanations"  
><strong>_And everyone wonders about you_

**"just as stubborn as ever i see"**_  
>But its all a game, its all a game, its all just a game babe<em>

**"oi! Karin." ichigo walks up to Karin**_  
>Its all a game, its all a game everybody plays<br>_**"toshiro..." they all stand quiet for some time  
><strong>_Its all the same, _

**"its been a while" toshiro nods at ichigo. their gaze moves to karin**

_its all the same_

**she turns to walk away, toshiro grabs her arm**_  
>Its all a game, <em>

**"hey!" ichigo grabs toshiros coller. "you dont get to touch her anymore!"**

_its all a game_

**she turns, tears filling her eyes, she pushed ichigo away**_  
>But you don't give a fuck<em>

**she closed the space between her and toshiro**_  
>And you drew a fine line for giving up<em>

**she sighed and pressed her lips to his, tears poured from her eyes**

_that line now gone like dust in the wind_

**he returns the kiss with all the emotion he can muster**_  
>Well, I had enough<em>

**he pulls away**_  
>cuz its all just a game<em>

**they lock eyes. he smiles.**

_a game babe..._

**and she flashed stepped away, out of sight.**

_yeagh, just a game..._


	15. what lies beneath

**another chapter ;) thank you at all my readers. and PLZ REVIEW! this song is what lies beneath by breaking benjamin. only a couple more chapters to go! so with out further ado the next chappy to alone 'what lies beneath'**

**ENJOY!**

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><p><strong>toshiro takes in a deep breath<strong>

_Take a breath_

**"yo toshiro"**_  
>Hold it in<em>

**he sighs "yes Ichigo"**_  
>Start a fight<em>

**"what the hell did you do to my sister? she wont tell me anything"**_  
>You won't win<em>

**"then that is her busniess, its not my place to tell you. just know that i hurt her"**_  
>Had enough<em>

**"well thanks for clearing that up for me captain obvoius."**_  
>Let's begin<em>

**"its captain hitsu-" he sighs again and turns to leave**_  
>Nevermind<em>

**"oi! toshiro head to udaharas, he keeps your gigias. he has plenty of clothes there too"**_  
>I don't care<br>_**"ya thanks" he waves his hand and is gone**_  
>All in all<em>

**"damn toshiro, you really fucked up by messing with karin"**_  
>You're no good<em>

_**'what the hell? why did i kiss him I cant fell this way for him anymore'**__  
>You don't cry<em>

_**'i said i was done with him his lies, all this hurt.'**__  
>Like you should<em>

**'but i just go and kiss him, and it felt so.. so'**_  
>Let it go<em>

**"right?" ichigo said karin looked at him with wide eyes**_  
>If you could<em>

**"what? you were thinking out loud"**_  
>love dies in the end<em>

**"oh, ichigo tell me wheres yuzu? i cant find her anywhere, not that she would be able to see me"**_  
>I'll find what lies beneath<em>

**"after your death she went to america, plenty of good surgeon jobs there, karin tell me what happened. please"**_  
>Your sick twisted smile<em>

**his face flashes in her mind**_  
>As I lie underneath<em>

**memories of long nights play in her mind**_  
>Your cold jaded eyes<em>

**she tells her brother of love, happy memories**_  
>Now you turn the tide on me<em>

**then of how it all changed**_  
>'Cause you're so unkind<em>

**she tells of his empty words by the river**_  
>I will always be here<em>

**"karin" he whispers**_  
>For the rest of my life<em>

**she wipes a tear from his face continues with her story**_  
>Here we go<em>

**she tells of how she layed in the river and let it take her life**_  
>Does it hurt<em>

**she tells of meeting him again, falling for him again, with no memory of before**_  
>Say goodbye<em>

**she tellf of remembering...**_  
>to this world<em>

**she tells of why she came to the world of the living**_  
>I will not<em>

**she tellf of trying to be strong...  
><strong>_Be undone_

**and how she failed...**_  
>Come to life<em>

**he wraps his arms around his sister**_  
>It gets worse<em>

**"and.. i-i think i still...lo- "**_  
>All in all<em>

**"shhh its ok karin," he stroked her hair**_  
>You're no good<em>

**she pulled back and looked at his face**_  
>You don't cry<em>

**how the tears streaked down his cheeks**_  
>Like you should<em>

**she breaks and lets her tears finially fall..**_  
>I'll be gone<em>

**He walks down the sidewalk seeking out a certain spot...**_  
>when you fall<em>

**he leans against the railing, in his gegai made fit to his now taller body**_  
>Your sad life<em>

**he slides down the rail and hits the ground with an "umph"**_  
>Says it all<em>

**"Hitsugaya"  
><strong>_So I'll find what lies beneath_

**he turns to see her standing there in gegai**_  
>Your sick twisted smile<em>

**he smiled "why must we always meet like this karin"**_  
>As I lie underneath<em>

**she looks away**_  
>Your cold jaded eyes<em>

**"you wanted to talk so ... talk"**_  
>Now you turn the tide on me<em>

**"karin i camee to apoligize and tell you that you are the most b-"**_  
>'Cause you're so unkind<em>

**a hollow suddenly bursts through the trees behiend them**_  
>I will always be here<em>

**they both phaze out of their bodies and draw their swords**_  
>For the rest of my life<em>

**karin flash steps to the hollow, its hand meets her blade and throws her into a nearby tree**_  
>Don't carry me under<em>

**"KARIN"**_  
>You're the devil in disguise<em>

**he quickly freezes the hollow and runs to karin as it shadders **_  
>God sing for the hopeless<em>

**she groaned and opened her eyes. he held her close his nose inches from hers**_  
>I'm the one you left behind<em>

**"toshi"**_  
>So I'll find what lies beneath<em>

**he moves in closer, his eyes slowly close**_  
>Your sick twisted smile<em>

**she gasped and coughed**_  
>As I lie underneath<em>

**blood splattered his face**_  
>Your cold jaded eyes<em>

**she grasped at her side**_  
>Now you turn the tide on me<em>

**he looked and saw her blade, now broken, stabbed into her side**_  
>'Cause you're so unkind<em>

**"no..." he swallowed hard "karin"**_  
>I will always be here<em>

**she lifted one hand to his blood splattered face**_  
>For the rest of my life<em>

**she pressed her lips to his for a last bloody kiss before her body went limp...**


	16. The Way He Makes You Feel

**new chappy time :) hope you enjoy :) plz review and thank you for reading**

* * *

><p><strong>somewhere in this dream-like state, she hears his voice<strong>

_Pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything._

**"karin im so sorry i let you get hurt...again"**_  
>Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about.<em>

**"i never meant to hurt you, when you arrived at my squad, i should have told you about our past"  
><strong>_And that's what you get for falling again;_

**"as you fell for me again, i relized what i had truely lost"**_  
>You can never get him out of your head.<em>

**"for when i lost you... i lost my whole world..."**_  
>And that's what you get for falling again;<em>

**she slowly opens her eyes to see she is in udaharas shop "i hate you"**_  
>You can never get him out of your head.<br>_**"ka karin..."**

_It's the way that he makes you feel._

**" i hate the thought of you, i hate the sound of your voice and name, i hate the very sight of you, i hate you, and everything about you"**_  
>It's the way that he kisses you.<em>

**"i hate the thought of you beccause it brings back all of our memories.**_  
>And that's what you get for falling again;<br>_

**i hate the sound of your name because i long to call it out,**

_You can never get him out of your head_

**i hate the very sight of you because it makes me miss you even more, **

_And that's what you get for falling again;_

**i hate the sound of your voice because i remember you whispering that you loved me**

_You can never get him out of your head.  
><em>

**i that you... i hate you because...**

_It's the way that he makes you feel._

**after all that has happened, i still want to be with you**

_It's the way that he makes you feel._

**i hate the fact that i honestly still love you"**_  
>It's the way that he makes you fall in love.<em>

**tears streak down her face**

_It's the way that he makes you cry._

**he takes her hand and kisses it softly**_  
>It's the way that he's in your mind.<em>

**he looks into her eyes**_  
>It's the way that he makes you fall in love.<em>

**"karin kurosaki, I love you"**_  
>It's the way that he makes you feel.<em>

**"although it pains me to say this Toshiro Hitsugaya, i love you too"**_  
>It's the way that he kisses you.<em>

**he presses his lips to hers, her hands grip his hair and his arms slide around her waist, **_  
>It's the way that he makes you fall in love, love.<em>

**he slowly removes her uniform, being careful with her wound **

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN whatcha think? :D so i need feed back on a little Question. should i do a lemon next chappy?**_  
><em><strong>would anyone like one? it would be light nothing too heavy. anywhoo let me know:)<strong>  
><em>


	17. runnin, runnin, runnin from my heart

alrighty its done! im really sorry to all my readers i thought i had already uploaded this :'( dont hate me too much! hope you enjoy. i have three more hitsukarin stories planned out. one is a songfic the others are real stories i hope youll read em when they are uploaded :) anywhoo enjoy :)

* * *

><p>My heart's beating faster<p>

**lips and skin meet in a dance as old as time their bodies intertwine and fit together like perfet puzzle peices**

_I know what I'm after_

**sweat rolls down his face as he looks down at her she looks up at him her eyes look strait into him yet he cannot read her emotions.**

_I've been standing here my whole life_

**"what are you thinking karin"**

_Everything I've seen twice_

**she rolls over, pulls him down beside her and presses her back into his chest**

_now it's time I realized _

**she sighs and pulls his arm up and over her body. he holds her tightly against him.**

_it's spinning back around now_

**"im thinking how all of this feels"**

_On this road I'm crawlin'_

**"and how does it feel?"**

_save me cause I'm fallin'  
><em>

**"i cant explain it"**

_now I can't seem to breathe right  
><em>

**emotions swrilled in her mind, she wanted to still be angry at him but she felt no anger towards him. she wanted to burst into tears, and laugh at the same time she opend her mouth to speak but no words sounded. she rolled over to face him**

_cause I keep runnin runnin runnin runnin  
><em>

**"kiss me"**

_runnin runnin runnin runnin  
>runnin from my heart<br>_

**he did as he was told and mustered as much passion as he could into the kiss**

_Oh, I'm coming alive  
><em>

**"what did you feel shiro?"**

_Oh, I'll wake up now and live_

**"its like fire and ice ,your fire melts my ice and brings the water to a boil, how did it **

**feel for you"**

_Oh, I'm coming alive_

**"it felt..." she smiled up at him**

_A life that's always been a dream  
>I'll wake up now and live<em>

**"right"**

_My heart's beating faster... _

_Well that damn, drunk luetanet was right, my relationship with karin is like a broken sword, we are chipped, we forever will be, theres no going back. before we both saw our 'chip' as a resaon to end it all to just give up. but now we have become stronger and we have overcame it together. we are stronger because of our past. karin has adjusted to soul society life pretty well. and i have adjusted to her being here permantly, sure we still have an occccssional fight but its healthy in a relationship, or at least thats what matsumoto says, so you may be wondering why i have taken so much time out of my busy schedule to tell you the troubled past of karin Kurosaki-hitsugaya and toshiro hitsugaya, well it is for you to learn from our mistakes, and for you to remember, if something feels right then go for it, dont miss out on something great. _

_sighned, __**Toshiro Hitsugaya**_


End file.
